Did he say “making fuck”?

Other words of wisdom to live your life by…..

Bill Hicks

“It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious”

Bill Hicks

Larry David

“Pity points. That’s fabulous, I love pity points. But how can I get to a 7? I know a 6 is out of the question, but is there any way I can get to a 7?”

Larry David (Curb Your Enthusiasm)


“That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age”

Wooderson (Dazed And Confused)

Dante Hicks

“What’s your encore? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?”

Dante (Clerks)

Tony Soprano

“I wipe my ass with your feelings.”

Tony Soprano (The Sopranos)

Juno MacGuff

“I bought another Sonic Youth album and it sucked… it’s just noise.”

Juno MacGuff (Juno)

Han Solo

“Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.”

Han Solo (Star Wars)

Sir Alex Ferguson

“When an Italian says it’s pasta I check under the sauce to make sure. They are innovators of the smokescreen”

Sir Alex Ferguson



Tobias Funke

“are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over – an analyst and a therapist. The world’s first analrapist.”

Tobias Funke (Arrested Development)

Garth Marenghi

“You know, as a writer, if you took away my paper, I would write on my heart. If you take away my ink, I’d write on the wind. It wouldn’t be an ideal way to work.”

Garth Marenghi (Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace)

Pete (Knocked Up)

“Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn’t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.”

Pete (Knocked Up)

Mark (Peep Show)

“It was old style paedo-ing…before it got such a bad name”

Mark (Peep Show)

Seth (Superbad)

“You know what I do? I flip my boner up into my waistband. It hides it and it feels awesome. I almost blew a load into my bellybutton.”

Seth (Superbad)

Guy Secretan

“You’re not a real man until you’ve got blood on your sword”

Guy Secretan (Green Wing)

Gene Hunt

“I’m Gene Hunt. Your DCI. And it’s 1973. Nearly dinner time. I’m ‘aving hoops”

Gene Hunt (Life On Mars)


Charlie Watts

“Don’t ever call me your drummer again. You’re my fucking singer!”

Charlie Watts (to Mick Jagger)

Eric Cartman

“Are you telling us this book is filthy, inappropriate, and made a guy shoot the king of hippies? Can we read it right now?”

Eric Cartman [about Catcher in the Rye] (South Park)


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